Thinking too much

I’m a thinker, wonderer, a self-professed philosopher. So I ask a lot of questions and consider a lot of ideas. Open minded, free thinking if you will. Yes, I’m Christian, but that doesn’t mean I can’t ask “What if?”. In my mind, anyone who goes along with anything without actually asking questions might as well be a programmed robot. God gave us free will and unique minds, so why waste it?

But!!

There is a time when too much thinking can be bad for you… or should I say your writing.

My buddy, whose name won’t be revealed, read my book. She loved it. So much, she critiqued it for me. And I mean she did a smoking job. She had me thinking that someone else wrote my book. That’s how in-depth her critique was. And like me, she’s a thinker and writer.

But her take on the story had my mind going in so many circles, I wondered if I was writing the right story. I wanted to write her story it was so deep. That is when I had to put on the brakes.

She had me second guessing my work and my self. No that’s not a bad thing because it could help me write a better story. And yeah, I could have used her ideas, but would it still be my story? Would it still tell the story as it should? Would it take away from the meaning or refocus it on something else? Would the story evolve into something I couldn’t really call my own?

Yeah, I questioned.

As artists and creators, we always reach for the imaginative and unique. We want to be able to call it our own. We want to be able to say, “I stand out from the rest because this, that I created, is from my soul”. And though we can use other people’s ideas and recreate them in our own image, we must be careful not to lose ourselves.

We begin to think we’re not good enough. And then the self-doubt and depression sets in. I KNOW I’VE BEEN THERE. And I have a feeling I will find myself in that place again one day.

But for now, I think I’ll stick with my story.

Yes, she had her own ideas about the story. Yes, she saw it in a different point of view, that made a world of sense, and it went along with my own ideas for the most part. But when other people begin to make you question yourself and your soul, sometimes you have to step back and pause. Is this where you want to go? Are you sure you want to take this route? Are you positive?

So? Are you?

Too many questions isn’t it? Heh, heh… I told you I was a thinker.

www.rbholbrook.com