Inferior Hardware

Computer: “RB, I don’t like these threats I’m getting. I calculate its time for a hardware upgrade. Preferably protection against water damage.”

Demon: “So if I drop you from a high altitude… say a sky scraper, I wonder what the results would be?”

Randy: “CRASH!!!

Angel: “That’s not necessary, gentlemen.”

Computer: “Listen to Angel.”

Angel: “Unplugging it and keeping it unplugged until the battery runs out will suffice.”

Computer: “Don’t listen to Angel!”

Rb: “Ok, everyone, let’s play nice.”

Computer: “Analyzing… RB, I also need you to requisition a shatter proof exterior and infinite battery life.”

Rb: “As much as the geek in me wants to get that for you, no. Demon, Computer is here to keep your nosy butt out of my files. But most of all, I need my computer for my writing so no sabotage.”

Randy: “Not even a little?”

Rb: “All of you, get along.”

Demon: “That’s impossible, I hate all these assholes.”

Randy: “I loathe you too, Demon.”

Angel: *sigh* “Keep this in mind, Computer. Your greatest weakness is your hardware, you have no arms, legs, or defenses to protect yourself. So you may not want to annoy Demon or Randy because, unlike me, they will use that weakness against you. Understand?”

Computer: “Input received and accepted.”

Angel: “Good.”


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