Word Count Research

Demon: “Hey, dog shit, what are you reading?”

Randy: “An article Computer pulled up, asshole.”

Angel: “You two stop being childish. What’s the article, Computer?”

Computer: “It’s about word count. RB has me doing research about appropriate word count since she’s thinking of chopping up her 165,000 word book into three books.”

Angel: “Really! That’s great! What have you found out?”

Computer: “Though some fiction books do run long, the average for a long novel is calculated at 120,000 words. And 165,000 is excessive for an young adult book…unless you’re J. K. Rowling…”

Demon: “Hell, I could have told you that.”

Computer: “Invalid Input.”

Demon: “Who are you calling invalid?”

Computer: “Most fiction books run between 60,000-90,000 words according to Writer’s Digest. If RB wants to realistically get the book published through a traditional publisher-”

Demon: “Hacking that bitch down is the right idea. I’ve got the scissors, where do we begin?”

Computer: “Critical Error: The problem is you can’t just cut up the book without having a definite beginning and end. Each book has to have a plot structure.”

Demon: “Ok, I repeat WHERE DO WE BEGIN?”

Computer: “Scanning… RB’s working on that as we speak. Your publishing strategy will have to change.”

Randy: “Because instead of one book we’ll be dealing with three?”

Computer: “Exactly.”

Angel: “Great!”

Demon: “Bring it the hell on, bitches!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Randy: “Something’s really wrong with him.”

Angel: “Yes, I know.”


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